The Place

When I was young, hongraymom would drag our family to this place on Granville called Shanghai Palace. She is someone who will refuse to eat anything that isn't some variation of Chinese cooking, so this was her way of "mixing it up"...

I guess it really didn't matter what I ate, because it probably wouldn't have interested me unless it was deep fried with a gift of lead-poisoned toy- but I do remember tolerating one dish from the place. It was the xiao long bao, or soup dumpling. Back then, I would say I enjoyed those dumplings more for the theatrics than the taste-I'd spear it with my chopstick and watch it explode, filling the bowl with oily meat juice.

Just to let you know, if you break a soup dumpling before it gets in your bowl/mouth/belly- it is one of the stupidest things you can do. Feel nothing but shame for your failure. You have to be gentle with these little packages of deliciousness- applying just enough force with the chopsticks in order to loosen it from the wax paper in the steamer. If you lose the juice through the steamer holes because you enjoy hurting yourself and those you're eating with, the soup dumpling's potential is ruined- it's the budget version of hacking away at a roast before it's rested. But I've really begun to digress. The whole reason I have been reminiscing about these childhood meals/soup dumpling transfer techniques is really to point out that the Shanghainese place was pretty crap- it's no surprise that it's not around anymore. The real "place" to eat these soup dumplings is at the hole-in-the-wall next door called....believe it or not...."The Place!"

After hearing my soup dumpling stories, I don't really know how you can't go to the Place.But then again I didn't describe their version of these soupy delights. The star of this place is really the xiao long pao- this establishment really understands the balance to be achieved between soup, meat, and dumpling (skin?). In my attempts to find a replacement for the Place on the East coast, I've encountered ridiculous ratios between these three elements. Montreal gives me too much skin, too many gimmicks/flavors. Toronto gives me too much bland soup. But my beloved Vancouver gives me a perfect little bundle- with a skin that gives enough texture to impart some bite/chewiness, a tender pork filling, and so much meaty, savoury soup that the sides of the dumpling sag with excess weight when you pick it up. They don't need to rely on switching up the combinations of filling to keep you interested; you're going to eat pork and you're going to like it.

I really dislike when I leave a meal unsatisfied and feeling like that money could have been better spent elsewhere. As a result, I've started to really limit my everyday dining experiences to the affordable- trying to seek out more hole-in-the-wall type places that are hidden gems. The Place definitely meets this criteria. The most expensive thing on the menu is <15$, and they consistently deliver the same quality of food each visit. Not to miss either are other gems on the menu of this establishment. A dish that consistently occupies the top "eat-as-soon-as-I-land-at-home" list is the chili won-ton (also pictured above...er $6.95?). Each time I've tasted it, I have my doubts as to the veracity of statements denying the use of MSG. There is no other way I can explain the crack-like properties it exerts on me. The menu also boasts traditional favourites such as taiwanese beef noodles errr ($7.95?), and for the more adventurous, salted egg with duck roll ($5.95).

8028 Granville Street, Vancouver BC

Ratings
Ambiance: Overall clean, comfortable- but no frills. Recent addition of orange paint to the walls really added some pizzazz to the place. Probably wouldn't want to go to their bathroom.
Crowd: Asians represent.
Price: My bills even whilst binge eating fail to surpass 30$/2 people.
Food: Success. Slight crack-like properties.
Portions: Generous, but not to the realm of the ridiculous. Predetermined numbers for dumplings.

And the million dollar question...
Hongray for the Place? it definitely has a "place" in my heart....HARhar

m:burger

m:burger and I were supposed to be soulmates- how could we not? Its' sexy exterior first caught my eye while struggling up Drummond, and after checking out the menu, this hongray girl knew she needed to arrange a meeting.

Zagat rated, charity-driven (proceeds from your gluttony go to children) , and opened by the owners of Moishes Steakhouse, m:burger has everything going for it. It boasts rave reviews from the big Montreal dining guides, and claims to win over the most skeptical burger critic with its smorgasbord of fresh, 'palate-tempting' ingredients. These include fancy choices like grilled pineapple ($1.50), torta mascarpone ($3.25), cucumber mango relish ($2.00) as well as staples like cheddar ($1.25) grilled onions ($1.00), and bacon ($2.00). m:burger ups the bar (and pretentious factor) on the average 'build your own burger joint' by introducing the option of fresh truffle shavings (white or black) which can be used to dress a kobe beef burger and paired with imported wine.

While I was tempted by such fanciness (I too am susceptible to gimmicks), I opted to sample the basics- because if you can't get that right, what can you do, really? I was pleased to see a slider option comprised of three "AAA" beef burgers served on a brioche bun ($10.00) and was doubly thrilled when the waitress informed me that sliders could all be topped individually at 1/2 the price of original toppings. For those of us with co-morbidities of gluttony and ADD when it comes to eating, it's always a treat when people provide ways in which you can eat more of different things. So I ordered the trio, two of which I topped with caramelized onions and goat cheese (FYI: two of the same because I was greedy and knew I wouldn't share with hongray boy). The last was the classic to see if m:burger was up to snuff- basic cheddar. On the side, I ordered their fry basket (which included regular, sweet potato, and french fried onions), paired with a fresh citrus mayo for dipping.

When the burgers came, I was confused... I thought I had ordered toppings. Where were my onions? And more importantly where was my CHEESE? My first reaction was to blame the waitress, but to my horror- this was no mistake. Hiding between the "celebrity" moishe pickle and the meat was a light, almost transparent, glaze of goat cheese- textural analogy? like a layer of baby drool, possibly vomit. The fry basket was equally disappointing, and completely suspect. I know my fried items, and this tasted suspiciously like soggy leftovers. Other than that, there was nothing of note to rave or rant about. The meal was one big plateau, devoid of flavorful and textural highs.

Overall, m:burger just doesn't deliver on its' promises. The love affair is over. I understand shelling out money for that perfect bite, but m:burger isn't a tasting menu, its not omakase. It's confused. The decor, ambience, and 'mission' espouse a fabulous gourmet eatery while the food it delivers is straight up bad greasy spoon. This polarity is mirrored in the clientele; at the bar was 'Joe-bob' chugging beer, next to me, 'Svetlana' in Alexander Wang. A clientele this diverse is usually a sign of quality food, but in the case of m:burger, it's a clueless ad executive who pitched burger shoppe meets rave, causing mass confusion. Pop Tate goes clubbing. Do you like your burger with a side of Tiesto?


(to the left): The only good thing to come out of m:burger
apologies to vegetarians (p.s. this blog may not be for you)






Ratings:
Ambiance: Look at me, I am soo trendy.
Crowd: Confusing. Ginos in Ed Hardy, Joe-bob, fashionistas, students.
Price: Surreptitiously sneaks up on you with number of additions. Overpriced beverages.
Food: Fail.
Portions: Stingy with the good, too generous with the bad.

And the million dollar question...
Hongray for m:burger? NO.